so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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