I heard we made out
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
