My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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