Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
