You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
