Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got inside last night via doggy door
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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