This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You can't just leave with hair like that
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
