Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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