Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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