I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
