Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
