fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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