What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
