so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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