Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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