my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
