So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize