Are we in a gay sports bar?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He did a backflip because drugs
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