let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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