Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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