I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
