what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
