i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
