I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
