I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
