Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
