she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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