After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Lo siento on account of my penis...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
