did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
