the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
