were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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