Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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