Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
