I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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