she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
