I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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