that's an acceptable place to lick
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
