i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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