You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
