I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
