dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
