i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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