When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
