Screwed.edu
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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