I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
