Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
