I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
