jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
