YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
