so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
