Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
