Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
