More tranny stories later!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
