This is not my ceiling
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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